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"wow, i have some serious anger management isssues", i kept thinking the other evening once i was calm enough to sit back down and continue the thing i had been doing - right after i broke my already dying, three year old phone into numerous pieces by literally smashing it to the floor with all the force and the raging anger i had in me. the only fault of the phone was its incapability of connecting to the computer via a usb cord. but it was a fault i could neither forgive nor forget. so, when my pulse went back to relatively normal, i signed into t-mobile's webshop and purchased, finally, a smart phone.
but the anger had not only started when my good old reliable but only-good-for-calling-texting-listening-to-music mobile started having its issues and letting me down. i had been pissed off by the realization - the epiphany! - that i was a slave to machines and electronic gadgets. they have become vital to my daily existence, pretty much like eating, drinking, sleeping, or breathing for that matter. i found myself tangled - both literally and technically - in the endless web of all the many powercords, which, i am afraid, i am forever tied to.
but when did i - or rather when did we - since, i am guessing this issue is quite universal - become slaves to all the many machines and electronic gadgets? when did they take over our lives? and when did we start living such fast lives? when did that hunger to consume so many pieces of brand new information rise in us? why do i feel compelled to check the news and my emails the first thing in the morning, hardly out of bed and a good night's sleep till in the corners of my eye?
why don't we slow down? i wanna slow down! i want to stop! i want to get out! i don't want to be no slave to no machine no mo'!
and yet i am. i spend six hours at work every day staring at the vibrant bright screen, clicking, double-clicking, scrolling, scrolling, forever scrolling down with my mouse, then refreshing, or opening yet another window and starting it all over again. then, once my work hours are over, i come home, hardy close the door behind my back and i am already turning on my laptop, only to continue my endless opening-clicking-scrolling-refreshing-opening-another-window mechanical method. and becoming a zombie in the meantime. not to mention that my eyes boggle by the end of the day, while my mind pretty much feels dead. but why do i spend so many hours attached to the internet, dying to stare at pictures and scanning for new information? what on earth can i spend so many hours with? and what did we do before the interwebs took over our lives? how did we spend all our precious hours? was it only watching tv or did we actually hung out more with our mates and communicated in person more?
but it's not just the internet i am addicted to. there are many gadgets i am pining over. starting with a a dslr camera. this one, for starters. honestly, i feel like i deserve a relatively half-serious camera by now - when it comes to my photography skills. but the thing is i am not quite ready financially, if you know what i mean. and anyway, once i bought this starter camera, i would have to buy some other decent lenses as well. it would only be the initiative step of yet another obsession.
the other thing i am dying for is an e-book reader. although i have pledged to read the printed word, i am seriously considering buying one. i have probably spent just as many hours looking for and checking out e-readers as i have done with dslr cameras. (and could not count them on my fingers.) although i never really thought i would fall for e-readers, i have, indeed, become partial to them. and also, i have quite a few e-books stored on my hard drive which i would love to read. but reading on the flickering, too-bright too-white screen of my computer which would only make my eyes boggle even more and ruin the excitement of reading? hell no! but do i actually need an e-reader right now? hell no. i still have more than a hundred unread books - all of them hard copies - which i have to read myself through first. it will take at least two years for me to consume all of them. only then would i
and last, but definitely not least, is the case of the smart phones. i have spent the last month thinking about buying an iphone, joining the ever-so-rad forever instagraming hipster crowd. thankfully, in the last moment i managed to talk myself out of the idea, because really, i am anything but an iphone kinda gal. and because: do i actually need a smart phone? hell no. i have plenty of chances to surf the net both at work and at home, which, as i have mentioned before, i make a good use of, often for eight or ten hours a day. why would i become even more addicted to the internet, constantly checking out what's happening out there in the world and sharing the nonimportant details of my everyday life? not to mention that my good old fashioned phone was perfectly capable of calling and texting - the prime reasons of using a phone. and still, in the end i let myself jump on yet another bandwagon, joining the already notable crowd on the ride. but at least it's not the iphone crowd. (but the samsung one. and you can still prepare yourself for the pointless instagram photos.) nevertheless, it is the smart phone crowd. and the stupid people crowd? that one i am not so willing to join.
yet: have i been brainwashed by the evil powers of consumer society - the notion of forever purchasing items i don't need but want - and the idealized image of american pop culture?
no doubt, i have. and i feel like i don't really have too much of a choice but accepting it.
still, it's a good idea to take a step back every once in a while, just to have a new perspective. just so i become aware of how much of a slave i have become. and maybe so i can reconsider the boundaries of my slavery. but this step back shouldn't only be a theoretical one, but an actual one too: a literal step back from the flickering screen and all the other electronic devices. because all of us needs some time to unplug for a while and recharge out there, in the offline world.
ps: i do realize how ironic it is that i wrote this note on my computer while constantly staring at my too-white, too-bright screen, only to share it with the whole world on the internet in a blog post.
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