The Prodigal Blogger Returns

I started writing the following post over a month (or two? three?) ago, sometime during spring, but never managed to finish it, let alone publish it. So, here it goes, somewhat completed and finished with a bit more recent thoughts.

Well, after a three months of hiatus (except for one lousy post), I guess it's time I started writing again.
These last three months have slipped through my fingers, and I am not sure what I did with all those hours of the days. January is always a gloomy month for me, as the days are grey and uneventful, especially when there's no pretty and comforting snow covering all the surfaces. So during the depressing days of January I am just trying to make it through the day, inhale and exhale, put one foot after the other, and escape to the colourful and much more exciting world of my pretty and comforting books. I harldy had any inspiration to do more than curl up under a soft blanket and read line after line, let alone write blog posts or taking photos. As you may have noticed, after about two weeks I abandoned the "From Where I Stand" project, because I ran out of creativity and got bored staring at my ugly brown boots. But thank God, I survived January!

Then came February, and slowly, somehow, days became lighter, brighter and a bit longer as well. Suddenly my gloom was all gone, and did not feel the need to escape into the pages anymore. Time slipped through my fingers ever so quick, February was over in a wink, yet, honestly, I don't remember anything I did in that months.

In March I finally pulled myself together enough the send my CV out to a few places, looking for another job beside the not-so-exciting teaching at the language school. Then, in early March I got accepted as an intern at the Budapest-based English language program magazine, Funzine. I hesitated long about it and I had a fairly bad feeling about taking a non-paying position and giving up my freedom (or at least most of my free afternoons), but I have to say I did not regret the choice I made the slightest bit.

 After three months of internship, the editor in chief was satisfied enough with my work to hire me part-time, twenty hours a week. So, since June 1st I have been (a paid) editor-intern, as I am spending my three probationary months. This means that in the last few months I have been working all day from Monday to Friday, as I still give lessons at the language school in the morning (although, very few and ever so descreasing in number, unfortunately), then pop back home for a quick lunch, and leave again a bit after 1 p.m., and work at the editorial office from 2 p.m. til 6 p.m. It also means, that I always get home after 7 p.m. (often later), exhausted, both physically (two and a half hours of commuting every day which is way too much for me) and mentally (it's not too bad, though), and I don't feel like doing anything productive the rest of the day, let alone gather my thoughts, and write funny/entertaining/interesting blog posts. Somehow, four hours of writing a day is enough for my mind, and once I am home I don't feel the need to sit down again in front of the flickering screen of my laptop and start clacking away again. Then, at the weekends, there's always so much to do, sleeping to catch up on, exhaustion to get rid of, so many books to read, places to go to, people to talk to, fun to have, or home/Grandma to run to where I can be in the comfort of my dearests and nearests. I just can't seem to be able to find space (and time) for blogging.


But I do miss it, catching my thoughst before they dissolve into thin air. Should I be able to write down the personal stuff, life would make more sense, it would seem easier, especially making decisions. I wouldn't (have to) be in this pothole of not being able making a decision about staying or leaving, following my heart or reason, cheesy as it sounds. So, I guess, I am back at basics, scribbling away, writing my way through quarter life panic, a.k.a. growing up without cracking under the pressure of society.