Those Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer (pt. 2)

Those long, freedom-filled, but oh-so sweaty and sticky days of summer have hit me like a train on a track, coming towards me, stuck still no turning back, Ihid around corners and I hid under beds, I killed it with kisses and from it I fled, with every bubble I sank with a drink, and I still could not wash it away down the kitchen sink*. 

I don't know whether it's the heat, or that I work relatively lot, but I got way too lazy lately to blog... I am spending most of the summer in Budapest, teaching at the language school. Thank god there's work to do, and people who don't speak English at all or well enough, because it means that I won't starve in the coming months; in fact, I can put food on the table and roof over head. I give about 15-16 lessons per week these days which is, as I said, relatively lot, compared to the circa 9-10 I usually had in the previous months. It is still only about 4-5 hours of work per day from Monday till Thursday, yet, I find talking, explaining, concentrating, and being on my toes  (and playing a bloody dictionary, which I loath. I mean common, I am an English teacher, and NOT a dictionary. Do I have Angol-Magyar, magyar-angol kéziszótár written on my forehead, or what?!?) for four consecutive hours rather tiring, especially in this heat, with no A/C (or a fan!) in the school. 

So once I get home at about eight in the evening, I have dinner, then get stuck in front of the internet, mainly tumblr & google reader, try to scan through all those hundreds of blogs I follow, while trying to chill myself and the room with the fan. (Thank god I bought one! Best investment you can ever make in the summer.) Then, when I get sleepy and tired of the internet & scanning through boring blog posts & pictures filled with cliche quotes, I finally turn off the laptop, go to bed, heat myself with the spotlamp above my bed, and read until I can't keep my eyes open. I am too lazy even to answer emails & fb messages. But it's time I gathered and pushed myself to write and blog, cause there are things to write about, even though my summer is not even half as exciting as I had hoped it would be. 

Nevertheless, despite of the fact that my days are somewhat monotonous, the heat is hardly bearable, especially on public transport where everybody is sticky, stinky, and sweating like a horse, and the dorm is being ripped apart that comes with a good deal of hammering, drilling, knocking, dust, and annoying nuisance of all kinds, I am having quite peaceful and relatively happy days. There isn't too much to worry about these days which I haven't had the pleasure to experience for about six or seven months. Well, except for one thing, though, which is how my life will turn out to be from September. It's still a question whether I got accepted to MA studies at ELTE or not. I don't have to wait too much though, as the results will be revealed on 20th. Although I am quite positive I don't want to go there anymore, I would still be disappointed if I weren't accepted. (Try to figure me out...)

I guess it's because I would see it as (another) failure and proof of my inadequacy. Plus then I would have to make some decisions very quickly, such as figuring out what I want to do from September, where I would live, whether I would be able to make a living by working only at the language school. I should most certainly find another job then. And this whole moving on & really growing up process is scary. Or maybe surely I am not brave enough. So that's the only reason why I hope I did not screw anything up with my application and will be accepted. 

But then there's also another part of me that wishes I wouldn't get accepted, cause then I would have to look fear straight in the eye and go out of my comfort zone. 

Conclusion: figuring out myself and what I want to do is not easy at all. In fact, it's more complicated than anything else I can imagine. 

(And it is not at all what I had wanted to write about.)

* The Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine.